Interview conducted by Dan Pond August 2003 for No Quarter Magazine, Issue #1.

Question: The new song "The Last Laugh" is very confrontational. Is it directed at anyone in particular? What was the impetus/inspiration for that song?

Mark McKay: "The Last Laugh". I'll tell you, I was pretty scared the first time I heard it - was it about me? Who the hell is it about? My queries were answered with the grin I know only too well from the author... that's all I've been able to get out of him... on one hand: who hasn't thought those things at one point or another? On the other: too extreme? He wasn't concerned with letting anyone know the subject [if one exists at all!], but he was VERY concerned with the eloquence of it... I think it shows!

Question: New Stars And Stripes album... will there be a "Drop The Bomb" part two? How has the U.S. bout with terrorism, security, war, etc. influenced the writing of this album?

Mark McKay: You got to remember when the last Stars And Stripes album was recorded - 1988! It was just a fun project and not much of it should be taken seriously. A few of the songs - originally slated for Slapshot use - are still pretty pertinent ["Nowhere", "The Power And The Glory"], but much was utter throwaways that we barely could get through the vocal takes - we were laughing too hard! The subject matter for the new songs is a bit more personal - I have not seen all the lyrics yet - but the CD is called "One Man Army" and deals with the struggles of one dude. Sort of a "concept album" - or so it seems so far... as far as the US policy on terrorism/war/hostile takeovers, we have our own personal opinions and though I would love to expound here, I don't want MY personal views connected anyway with the band view...

Question: Is it true that Ian MacKaye was upset about the first Stars And Stripes album? What happened there?

Mark McKay: Super deluxe! Man, he was pissed! We had a pretty casual friendship - I had been to Dischord house a couple times and would go to see Fugazi when they came to town... the album finally came out and Ian confronted me, telling me it was "irresponsible" to put out junk like that. "Of course it is!" I told him and felt the need to remind him of the concept of "satire" - he wouldn't hear it... it came to a head one night at a Fugazi show in Cambridge when I had had enough of the rhetoric from him - we had what I term a "heated" debate and went our separate ways... We haven't spoken yet; although I'm sure he doesn't remember or care. I still respect the guy, but got to give him a lesson or two in tolerance for things like our little joke... our debate was covertly taped by a girl I was seeing at the time, I would LOVE to hear that!

Question: Who has the best haircut in the band?

Mark McKay: Of course everyone would say "Choke" because he used to be a hair stylist. I would say "me" because I ROCK the barber. Chris just buzzes his himself, but has a GREAT shaped head. But I do think WE would all agree - our new guitarist ED has the best hair. Perfectly coiffed and always in place...

Question: I like your flat-top, Mark. I call it a posi-top.

Mark McKay: My barber thanks you and my wife curses you! She wants me to look like Neil from The Young Ones... flares and all!

Question: How has having spouses/children affected your dynamics as a band?

Mark McKay: I don't think it has affected us, but if it has - it has been positively! We do more [Slapshot-wise] now that we have families than we did before! Personally, it keeps me sane, keeps me focused. I play the shows with pictures of my family beside me - makes me play faster so I can get home to them quicker! There are more things to consider though - taking time for a rehearsal now affects 15 people instead of just us 4...

Question: If you guys were from New York and played Metal influenced Hardcore, what would you name your band?

Mark McKay: Probably "BACKDOWN" or "CRACKFIRE" or "RECORDSTORE" - I don't think it matters as long as it has 2 syllables and is HARD! "DIVERDOWN" maybe, or "SHUTUP"...

Question: If you had a gun with one bullet and a killing permit, who would get it?

Mark McKay: DAN! What a negative question from such a positive guy! I honestly don't think I would be able to just kill like that; I'm more of a "chain you up in the basement pee on you three times a day and feed you nothing but deviled ham sandwiches" kind of guy... But... if I HAD to kill or be killed, it would be anyone who abuses children...

Question: What music are you guys listening to these days?

Mark McKay: Whoa! 4 different answers I'm sure! Jack Kelly - Black Metal and Drum & Bass, Chris Lauria - For sure feels that Discharge are the best band EVER [I'm inclined to agree!], Ed Lalli - Not sure, but he knew who Integrity were, so my assumption would be Punk Rock/Hardcore, me - last thing I listened to was Simon And Garfunkel, Horace Silver And The Jazz Messengers and any Howlin' Wolf I can get my hands on...

Question: Any newer, up and coming Hardcore bands out there striking your fancy?

Mark McKay: Besides "thumbs up", not really! [nice plug, huh?]. We all dig Kill Your Idols, though they are not new - but they KILL most others that I've heard of late. Some of the Bridge 9 Records things are pretty cool too. I really am digging the new school of Hardcore though - not so much for the music, but the positivity of it and the comradery. Honestly!

Question: You guys tour Europe a lot, have you had trouble with people smelling bad?

Mark McKay: Ah, a common misconception about the Europeans as a whole! It's only the FRENCH that smell really bad! We have been to many different countries and found the kids to be very well groomed and dressed properly for all occasions...

Question: What is the worst thing about Europe?

Mark McKay: Getting there! It's so far away and the flights generally suck! But we have so many great stories and old friends there now - there is no bad thing I can think of! Really, we played a show in Leipzig last year and there was a fight in the crowd. We were shocked! We had never seen a real fight at a show of our over there!

Question: Is it true that your European tours are really just sassy elongated shopping sprees?

Mark McKay: No. actually, they are surrogate prison experiences for us. See, we've all done time in the bighouse, and being on the bus in tiny bunks with 10 smelly Americans is the closest thing to our jail experiences... the joint starts to own you - you become "institutionalized" and the walls seem like home after awhile... so we tour!

Question: You told me that all of the guys, except you, are into some really messed up porn. Please discuss.

Mark McKay: No no, Dan - you got it wrong. I said we were into MAKING messed up porn. There is a difference...

Question: I saw a video of a woman attempting sexual congress with a horse. Have you guys seen that one, or any like it?

Mark McKay: See above. And send us the name of the film - we're checking up on our royalty statements...

Question: I was at your "secret" show in Cambridge last summer. Upon reflection, based on the dancing going on at that show and other shows you've played in the past year in America, do you think that the kids today could possibly stand a song or two in the pits you had back then?

Mark McKay: Perhaps... that show was out of control. I have a video that josh shot and it is pure insanity. We couldn't do that again in a million years - the stars were aligned...

Question: Whom among you still skate? What's your sickest trick?

Mark McKay: I still have a stick, but tricks were never part of my shtick - chicks dig a man with a skate, so we all bought one... Chris, Steve and I would hang out with kids who COULD skate and reap the benefits! A small investment for a little trim!

Question: How has getting old and fat affected your skating?

Mark McKay: It's kind of weird, the board flexes a LOT more than it used to and I needed to get really soft wheels, risers and clouds to make it easier on my delicate spine... I also had an additional set of trucks installed in the middle and an outrigger [picture "Hawaii 5-0"] bolted on. So, I'm still cranking with the best of them - AND, my deck looks all tricked out! [little do they know... ]

Question: I heard that one time you guys drove to Connecticut and beat up Ray Cappo with pieces of meat and then you all had gay sex with him and that you're all cross dressers and that "back in the day" you guys used to sell drugs to Nazis. Is that true?

Mark McKay: Again, just rumors! We don't consider it "gay" sex if you are on the road for any purpose - road trip with the guys to get some St. Mark's pizza, or a show or something like that... you know - like a trip to the white hen pantry... We DID get a package or two of tofu thrown on our van in Memphis by the ultra scary vegan kids there. Not even tour faces! It was resting comfortably on our windshield when we loaded out. We laughed and laughed! "I bet you some starving vegan kid DIED because you wasted all that tofu!" Man alive...

Question: Do all the rumors about Slapshot, especially about Jack, piss you guys off, or do you find them humorous?

Mark McKay: We used to try to defend ourselves. We've been called EVERYTHING in the book, I swear. Choke still loves to pull people's chains - he does it well! He can be found on most message boards on the internet calling people all sorts of names... but now, we just let it go. It's not even that funny anymore. How many times can you be called a "Nazi" and give your spiel before you just get tired of saying it? I say whatever... recently, we got an e-mail from a "concerned citizen" who swore that he and all the "god-fearing" folk in his town would be "locking their doors" when we came to town and "God help if anything happened...". So now we're Satanist/serial killers? Or merely burglars? Classic idiocy, classic I tell you!

Question: What's the best Choke rumor you guys have heard?

Mark McKay: The most persistent happens to be the best, the one that he "is a gay hairdresser and does Wattie while we're on tour". I love that one. But the most untrue rumor is that he is NOT a sensitive, nurturing band mate and level-headed member of society. Oh, he's a peach!

Question: What's your favorite Bold song?

Mark McKay: My fave happens to be "when the youth come down, I'll still be around". Choke swears by "rising above the cloud of insecurity and finding the silver lining and all the while eating a very delicious apple". Chris sings [all the fucking time!] "youth crew in da house, outta da house and in da dawg house!" and Ed says: after they went from Crippled Youth, they just plain sucked!

Question: What's wrong with Hardcore and the kids today?

Mark McKay: No sense of history. I also think that the kids would seriously benefit by chilling the heck out. It's not a contest, it's not a fashion show - it's supposed to be a positive thing! Find the bad apples, weed them out and get on with it! The music is fine, whatever - slow, fast, chunky, Metal - isn't it about the attitude and the message? Or am I really fucking old?

Question: Slapshot has always been brutally honest, blunt, and often very funny. Why are so few bands brave enough to have as much fun, and be as honest and no-nonsense as Slapshot?

Mark McKay: I'm not sure why more bands aren't. All the original bands were blunt - whatever they were singing about! It's hard to be long winded in a song that is less than a minute and a half long! But it is difficult to be interesting in that time. So blunt becomes crass, maddening, topical, and ridiculous - we've tried to use all those styles in our songs to make them stand out. Sometimes it works and the songs live a long life [like "Back On The Map" - what I feel to be one of our best or "Step On It" - what I feel to be one of our most inane!] and some die a quick death - like "Killing Frost" - what I feel to be among our worst - it's like listening to a YES album or "Rise And Fall".

Question: Favorite Black Metal band? Don't say Living Colour.

Mark McKay: Me? Dark Funeral. Completely over the top and no compromise in ferocity or devilish content. Close second: Marduk, just insanely brutal. Choke: No idea, he is currently only in the third level of hell and has quite a way to go. Oh, and Zno White was pretty good too...

Question: Mark McKay, you don't respect Hip Hop. Does the rest the band hold a similar disdain for it? Mark, why you hating?

Mark McKay: I don't like the Hip Hop because it's crap! Boring, posturing, repetitive - that isn't entertainment, that's my drumming! Naw, that stuff doesn't appeal to me - I think Choke may like some of it - but his main focus for years has been the Black Metal and Drum & Bass. I think the Hip Hop has let him down - not enough raps about the rapture of Satan and his minions feasting on the entrails of Christians...

Question: What is the most exotic kind of meat you've eaten?

Mark McKay: Once again, I blush! I'm a steak man - though I think I may have had buffalo once - I heard it tastes like chicken. Chris is a real Ted Nugent type - I think he's even had human once or twice. But I think we'd all agree - the most exotic meat we'd like to eat is KELLY'S roast beef! [and I'm NOT talking about Choke's pud here for real!]

Question: Okay, last one, what lies ahead for Slapshot? What can we expect in the years to come?

Mark McKay: You know, we used to consider ourselves a real band with goals, aspirations and plans for the future. Now, I believe we are driven by some weird responsibility to ourselves - make the perfect, truly ferocious Slapshot LP, see if anyone cares and go from there. We have no reason to stop - we only hate each other a little, and I think we make ok records. We're not virtuosos, so there is very little ego on the part of the performances [recently, on a message board expounding the virtues of "Hardcore's best drummers" - I was mentioned. Oh, how I laughed! A bit further down the thread, someone shot it down saying "all his beats are the same" - and I felt good. They are all the same, dumbass! This is Punk Rock! It's about getting the song over and out and talking to the kids afterward!, don't cha think? In the years to come: expect a historical DVD, a live CD recorded 12 years ago at The Rat, a series of authorized bootleg CD's and some wild vinyl issues, courtesy of our friends at Bridge 9 Records. Keep it up, keep it real, keep it ferocious.